I Can’t Refuse Her, Nor Can I Accept Her

Now I won’t lie.
Nor will I put on a pensive look
so that someone will believe
I’m sincere.

Now is not the time.
Against the backdrop of the last song
there’s no moment left for the usual poses.
The ritual doesn’t wait.

Here they come now with the verdict.
In white coats.
(Perhaps in Her honour?)

There.
Time to discharge me —
hopeless, they say
(breathe easy).

Now I’ll accept it.
I’ll get up and leave.
But what if they’re wrong?
What if it’s only eczema?

But they won’t lie.
Nor will they give me a pensive look
so that I’ll believe them,
believe they’re sincere.

Now it isn’t time yet.
And this isn’t the last song...

There, tomorrow they’ll come in with the verdict.
In white coats.
(Perhaps in Her honour?)

Time to discharge me —
hopeless, they say
(breathe easy)...

All right. It’s clear.
I’m breathing easy now.

Time for “My Way”.
But what shall I sing?
With all due dignity.
As the ritual requires...

Maybe something short?
(though I’d have liked to sing my whole life)
from the beginning to the end.
And above all, once again.

But since the end is near,
I’m breathing easy now.

Tomorrow morning I’ll know.

2004