A Thought I Tried to Erase

Long, long ago, back and down,
there was nothing much in my head.

At some point little words sprouted,
overheard there, let fall here.

Long, long ago, back and down —
my eyes watching, my ears sticking out.

And my own thoughts from other people’s
I unravelled, recognised, and was glad of them.

Little by little the voices went quiet.
The thoughts ran dry — mine.

Little by little I took out the quotations too.
Day after day I scraped them off with my nail.

And now I’m shut in on this meadow.
I sit and wrestle with one last thought.

Lodged between my throat and my crown,
it won’t give to shoving, pleading, pondering.

I took a furious run to ram it out by force.
I stared at it dumbly, but crossly and meaningfully.

I offered it a deal, I found it reasons.
I bribed it with logic until it wavered.

I tore it away from its surroundings,
we travelled far and handsomely.

I trained in self-knowledge,
I even went to a match.

I slept deeply and dreamt I was forgetting it,
but I never managed, and still I don’t manage

to get it out of there and make it let me be.

Now I’m shut in on this meadow.

I keep silent, facing myself — a stooping silhouette
held upright by a single thought.