A Fair in the Field

(This is some kind of impression. I guess that’s what you call it… My categories limp a little.)

So I’ve got myself in the queue, ’cause I see up front there’s this gangly, grinning bloke handing out little medallions.

There’s ones with a cross, with a Star of David, a crescent moon sort of thing, half-risen, a statuette of Buddha, a pair of Pythagoras’s sandals, some Zoroastrian symbols on a bit of wood and a few more African, South American and Asian artefacts I’d never seen before, lithographs of Che Guevara, Lenin and Marx sitting at some table, grinning away. And I’m telling you, all three of ’em seriously grinning…

And all around, stages with folk bands, grills with kebapche, din, crowds. Great fun.

At some point my turn’s getting close, and I’m thinking, “Right, which one do I ask for?” Dunno. Can’t make up my mind, ’cause I’m a bit indecisive, me. And I see he’s giving one to everybody, and it’s eating me up. And when I end up face to face with him, I goggle at the grinning guy and go:

“Excuse me, could I have one of each, I like them all so much…”

And the bloke grins even harder, scoops up a bit of everything and tips it into my cupped hands.

So I was that chuffed I stepped back a bit, put them on the ground for a sec, turned to him and go:

“Thanks a lot for the lovely collection!”

And I gave him a ticket for Amy Winehouse’s concert in Belgrade. And our guy, I’m telling you, when it hit him what I was giving him — was he moved. I barely managed to grab the medallions and leg it. He’d come out from behind the stall and was heading for me with his arms wide open. Figured he wanted to hug me or something… and me — off I go!

And he’s running after me shouting:

Whichever god catches you wherever — may he bless you! Cheers, mate! That girl’s unbelievable! I’m there!

And I turn sideways (but I don’t stop jogging) and shout back:

“Shame you haven’t got a postcard of the Dead Sea Scrolls, but we’ll live!”

Our guy goggled (still grinning somehow, mind), turned round and went back to handing out, ’cause the queue was starting to riot a bit.